You and your partner are starting to get serious.
You are getting the main questions out the way, when, if ever, you would like to have kids, how many, where you want to live etc. And you may gloss quickly over a money questions or you might not even think it’s important to know your partner’s money mindset.
But that’s until he decides to take out a loan to buy a timeshare as a ‘surprise’ for you.
Then you wish you knew what the heck he was thinking when he made that decision.
Knowing your spouse’s money mindset is integral to understanding how and why they make the choices they do in regards to money and ensures you are both trying to reach the same goal and are working in the same direction.
But just asking your spouse ‘what’s your money mindset’ is going to get you some weird stares and some B.S. answer that is likely to be the equivalent of the pagent response to the ‘what is your one wish for the world?’ question.
Usually, it’s ‘World peace’ in case you were wondering.
So here are 5 quick questions to ask your spouse, and maybe even yourself, to find out your spouse’s money mindset:
- What you’d like to know: Which do you value more: things you can keep or experiences to remember? – It doesn’t matter what your spouse response is, there is no right or wrong answer. This is just to find out what makes your spouse happy.
Here’s how to ask: If you had the choice between getting something you’ve always wanted for free, or having an experience on your bucket list for free which would you pick?
- What you’d like to know: What do you consider a ‘financial crisis’? Different people have different thresholds for a crash and burn financial scenario. Some people it’s being in debt and having debt collectors calling them is the worse thing ever. For others just having credit card debt is enough to keep them up at night.
Here’s how to ask: What is your worst money fear?
- What you’d like to know: How do you feel about debt? – some folks have a fire and brimstone fear about debt, others are fine with having debt if they can afford the monthly payment. Knowing where your spouse stands is key to understanding how comfortable they will be in acquiring debt.
Here how to ask: Just answer, no thinking: If someone gave you $2000, would you spend it on something you’ve always wanted or pay down your debt?
- What you’d like to know: What’s your risk level with investing? – Some folks view money in abundance. These folks are more likely to take risks because they know there is always an opportunity to make more money. Some folks see money as a scarce resource that is hard to get and easy to lose. They might be less inclined to take risks. You’ll want to know which side of the coin your spouse falls on.
Here’s how to ask: We’ve all heard the stories of someone who risked everything they owned on an investment or business idea. Could you see yourself doing something like this?
- What you’d like to know: What do you consider a ‘big’ financial decision that needs a partner discussion? – In the ideal world, you and your spouse would discuss all big money decisions before making them. But in the real world, your spouse might think a new car or house furniture isn’t a big financial decision if they aren’t using a money for a down payment. You want to understand what dollar amount would trigger a conversation before a purchase.
How to ask: How much does something have to cost to be considered a major financial decision?
It’s obviously not all-encompassing, but it’s a great place to get you started. At the very least, you get some insight and can expand to learn more about where your hunny’s mind is at in regards to money.
Don’t make it life or death, but don’t take it for granted either. Go ahead and start asking these questions. Cuddle up and get intimate with each other, because once you get down this road you are going to know a whole lot more about each other, and maybe even about yourself!